Last night was very devastating.
We went to Mings.
When i was going out the door to leave i was wavin to everyone bye. i saw Sandy push Jay towards me and she was pointing frantically at him. Well the next thing i know i turn around and he had followed me and my mom outside. He started off apologizing a lot. I thought he was gonna say sorry for not being able to go bowling with me.
One day my mom had saw a teacher she knew there at Ming's and come to find out her father-in-law is really good friends with Mings crew and him and his wife are the ones we see talking and laughing with them all the time and being on a personal level with them. Well Mrs. Butts (mom's teacher friend) was told by my mom all about mine and Jay's "relationship" I forgot too post all this before now, i meant to just never did. I should have... Anyway Mrs. Butts was all happy and thought it was soo cute that i liked him. She told us his whole situation which made me like him more. He was the only one of his family here. He has no other friends except for the people he works with. He works all the time and never goes anywhere or does anything because he doesn't know anybody. Mrs. Butts said Jay would be thrilled to do something with me out on the town or something. Well that was my biggest oportunity ever! I was gonna become his American friend in this small little town. Then i found out that my church youth group was going to go bowling soon and i was gonna invite him. You know that way we could become closer and not be alone and it wouldn't be akward. Plus it was with a church group so it was safe. Then my mom told Mrs. Butts who told Jay that i really liked him and was going to invite him to go bowling but didn't know when yet. Well by the time i found out when, it was too short notice to go to Mings and tell Jay. It was last thursday night when i found out that we would bowl that next night on friday. My mom tried to get Mrs. Butts to call her father-in-law friday morning to ask if Jay could get off that night. I was worried all through the day. But when i go picked up my mom told me that her father-in-law had already left mings when she called, but Jay probably couldn't go anyway because the guy manager Danny went to Nederland to work on a new branch they are gonna open soon and Jay's sister was working now with him so Jay was gonna have to stay and help on one of the busiest nights, friday. My mom gave Mrs. Butts her cell phone anyway to call in case Jay could somehow get off and come. She never called...
So back to last night...
Here's what happened...
Jay: I am uh soo sorry, Meelayuh, but I am uh leaving.
Me and My mom: Leaving?!
Jay: Yes. I go to resturant in houston for work. My sister, Tiffany, is here take my place.
Me: ...ohh...-smile fades-
Mom: Oh that was your sister.
Me: -trying to smile to hide verge of tears-
Jay: -nod-
Mom: well we'll miss you...-waves and turns and walks off-
Me: Yea. I uh I'm gonna miss you. -glances at his face which is oddly close and glances down at feet-
Jay: Yes. Iwilltoo- (im not sure what he said right here because he was mumbling and glancing down at his hands rubbing together)
Me: -turns a little more to him- (im not quite sure how i was standing it felt really akward) Well uh...bye...then...
Jay: Yea. Byebye.
(at this point i had the huge urge to hug him but for some reason i refrained. I actually think he was expecting it or some kind of contact because im pretty sure he moved closer and put out his hand akwardly. But i think i backed up and he reached for the entrance door. I don't really remember much because i was in shock. I don't remember what expression was on his face let alone my own. All i could think about was the tears coming as i walked away from him.)
I think the reason it got to me so much is that he came out to tell me himself in person. And that let me know that he did actually think of me and probably had some feelings for me too. Maybe not in the same way but in a way where he felt obligated to tell me before he left.
And here are the tears...
In some ways i feel silly for crying over him, but i can't help it. I was that close to having a better relationship than just flirty glances and bearly talking. I want so much to see him again and hug him bye and give him like a bracelet or something to remember me by. But i have no clue when he's leaving. He didn' specify. Now i don't think i can go to Mings again. Im so heartbroken. I just don't know why because i didn't really know him and now im crying my eyes out over a chinese waiter, a VERY CUTE SWEET FUNNY CHINESE waiter. I have no reason to go to Mings now. I mean yea i still love the food, but it won't be the same without him and it won't feel right. I really have been obbsessed with him for quite a while now. I really can't imagine Mings without him. T-T
Even if i do go to Mings now, seeing his sister will make me just as sad. She looks a little like him. and OMG she is sooo cute. She has the hair color i want. Its like a red ish brown. But she has his eyes and nose somewhat. She kinda looks like Massu. Its that cute nose. But idk know what i'll do now.
I wonder what resturant he'll be working at in houston. Hopefully i can find out and when we go to houston for the anime convention we can go there and surprise him. That'll show him how much i cared for him. I wish he didn't have to go though...
I wonder if i can still have time to like take him to the mall or something before he leaves... i just don't know... ToT
But its not like our relationship could have gone anywhere. He probably didn't like me like that anyway and it was all in my head.
How would it have even worked? Im silly for even trying.
;_;
~Losing in love~
Laila-chan
P.s.
On a better note...
Me and Darling started watching Gokusen. Finally, ne?
I've been waiting forever!
And im also waiting for mysoju to fix Code Blue so i can finish watching it.
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indifferent
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chipper
lazy
relieved
content
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geeky
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blah
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